Monday, 27 September 2010

11. Conception or Contraception?

I went to the chemist today to buy toothpaste and tights.  I nearly came out with a conception predictor kit.  I've no idea why.  No, we are not trying for number three. I think Big Daddy would like another critter.  But I've been saying that two is enough and that we should count our blessings, etc, etc.  I've also reminded him that I'm forty, growing a moustache and that anyway, we can't afford it.

Meanwhile, I have been looking at dog rescue websites and getting exactly the same reaction.  No, I am not one of those women who has her hair in a wispy bun, wears dangly earrings, long skirts and sandals.  I just feel our household is somewhat depleted.  I know Klefti cannot be replaced, but a pair if dogs is not a pack. Purdey and Tatty don't let me know when the postman arrives, or more importantly, they don't announce the arrival of my mother (she has a key). 

In any case, another dog would definitely be less work than another baby. 

Pros of getting another dog (aka 'cons' of having another baby)

Cheaper than an Banham alarm
It wouldn't disturb my sleep
It wouldn't need me to personally feed it
It won't need me to change its nappy
It wouldn't need me to wind it
It wouldn't need me to bath it
It wouldn't need me to dress it
It wouldn't need a sterliser
It wouldn't need a baby bouncer
It wouldn't need 250 muslins
It wouldn't need 125 baby grows
It wouldn't need dummies
It wouldn't need school uniform

You get the idea.

There's only three things a dog really needs:


Pros of having another baby

The girls would have a younger sibling
The younger sibling would have older sisters
I would have one more child than most of my friends (ok not a real reason)

The cons of both another dog and a baby are too many to list, although I passed off the pros of having another dog as the cons of having another baby, which was cheeky.

But haven't I got my hands full enough? You may ask. Yes, I have.  So if I'm idly thinking about getting another dog, what was I doing in the chemist hovering our the pregnancy and coneption testing kits?  Was it primal instinct that led me there?  Who knows.  All I know is that the ability to procreate is a wonderful thing, and I have yet to prove I can do it naturally and that niggles me, a little.

But right now, we won't get another dog, and we won't have another baby.  If anything changes, you will of course be the first to know.


  1. This is the first post of yours that I have read, but it made me smile, very light hearted. I might just have to memorise your dog pro's list and relate to my husband, next time we have the talk about getting a dog and if we should (babies are def out of the question in this house, so I cant compare to that).

  2. Go on, do it! First a dog and then once it's settled in, say a year or so, give the girls a sibling! Three dogs, three babies - quite nice symmetry, don't you think? As for your 'cons' list, I'm afraid I felt all warm and fuzzy reading it thinking back to those newborn days (hmmm, may be more broody than I thought...)!